Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Women's Rights

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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