Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

punchline below punchline above

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops