why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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"...."-Hellen Keller

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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