Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

richard is fag

I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...