roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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"...."-Hellen Keller

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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