Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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