Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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lipstick pig

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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hi dave

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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knock knock come in!

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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