Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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