You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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