Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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A car walks into a bar.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops