What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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One below was by me: Walter H

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Continents are large islands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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