Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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what's the difference between a duck?

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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