Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

thumb_up thumb_down +10

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where's the dick??? east

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops