Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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