Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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What's city is in New York New York City

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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