How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

An Englishman walks into a bar.

Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Sex education in Texas.

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

I have an idea! You leave.

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

pee

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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