one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Go Away

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops