Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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