What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

9/11.

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

The chicken crossed the road.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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