Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

24

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops