How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

What's the point of going to college? There is none.

How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

8=> >->-o

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

This is my favorite antijoke.

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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