So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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