Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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