A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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epic win?

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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A seal walks into a club.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops