knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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Okay.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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