One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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96 there mad at each other instead its 69

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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