why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Thats what she said

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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