i find your gravy quite lumpy.

When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

this is stupid .... yep

Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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