Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops