What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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i have a christmas tree.

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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