What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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Ross.

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Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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Liverpool City Football Club

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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