You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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