How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

24

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your existance.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops