What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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I am very humble.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops