What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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Ain't idn't a word.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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