It's okay, I got the yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops