Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

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man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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adam hodgson !

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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