If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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why did the chicken cross the road? does a chicken have to explain everything it does?? do u explain to everyone around you why you're crossing the road every time?! i think not!

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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