Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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