How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops