I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

So a blonde walks into a wall...

whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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