What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Christianity.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Want to hear a funny joke Rojo Bunchie

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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