What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

hear hear

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Cows are land manatees.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops