Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

I Have a Black Friend

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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