Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because Martin Handford drew him that way to make him unique and distinguishablefrom the hundreds of other drawn people (and animals) in the pages of the children's game book, which incidentally is known as Where's Wally in numerous non-USA countries.

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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