knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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