Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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FIRE!!

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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