On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

penis

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

The meme walks out of the bar.

what the hell happened to your face

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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