What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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