how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops