While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Asians

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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You're tall.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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