What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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