5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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